Making a Terrible List

When a list of demotivational post-its can’t motivate you to stop being terrible, perhaps the problem is that you don’t know how terrible you are.  The first step to fixing yourself is admitting all the things wrong with you, and the best way to see it is to list them.  

Things that may be on your list

• Your fat pants exploded, and not because you were wearing them in a terrible road-runner hunting expedition with a faulty Acme product.
• All of a sudden you have an endless supply of money, but not because you won the lottery or married Oprah. You’re using your credit card for everything and using your line of credit to pay it off every week. It’s not your fault that for a small interest fee every month, you can live like a rock star!
• Your career development plan is still part of your to-do list under “clean the bathroom” and “do laundry.” You’ll never get to it as long as you keep buying more underwear. P.S. your friends don’t visit because your bathroom is disgusting.
• Napping often takes precedence over most other things.
• Your belt is slowly deforming itself because it can’t hold you in. At this point he doesn’t even want to be a belt anymore, and has fantasies of becoming a sock or a hat.

Congratulations! You’re kind of a mess. The real problem is that no one of these problems can really be solved without fixing all of the other problems. Basically, you’ve allowed yourself to spiral into a sedentary lifestyle where you have no real motivation to perform even basic human functions. Coming out of this rut is going to suck. You really don’t want to do most of the things you’re going to have to do. You basically have to train yourself to act like a person using a five fundamental elements.

• Fitness
• Nutrition
• Financial Management
• Career Development and
• Your Personal Life

If just saying the words made you vomit a little, then go brush your teeth, come back and get started on the painful road to living like a person. I’ll be live tweeting all my terrible life-choices on twitter using #livelikeaperson.

"I could have been boots" - Scott's Belt