The Two Week Cleanse

So, the idea of ACTUALLY making small changes in the way I live forever is a little overwhelming, because I love eating all the things and I hate exercise with a passion. For some reason the idea of drastically changing the way I live for a short period of time is much more manageable. In my head, I’ve rationalized this as a “cleanse” where I eliminate my cravings for junk food by not eating it for two weeks. I also go to the gym every day for the full two weeks, thus enhancing my desire to go more regularly. This is flawed logic, because I’m obviously not going to do this.

Here were the rules:

No junk food

Carbs in the morning only

No alcohol

Increase water intake

Decrease coffee intake to 2 cups per day

Go to the gym every day

Eat more fruits and vegetables

By day 2 of the 14 days I had broken most of the rules… but that means that for the first day, I did really well. I’m gonna give myself a little pat on the back for that one.

I had planned a trip to Halifax starting day 2, returning day 3. Obviously for the 5 hour car ride, I would need both of my daily coffees, which means I would be drinking an extra one after dinner and one before breakfast. Also, when your host makes you brownies, you eat the effing brownies. Clearly, I did not go to the gym that day, or the following day. Because gym regimens can only start on Mondays, I had to wait until the next Monday to return…at which point, I did not return to the gym. I realize these are all excuses, and they’re not very good ones…but they’re my excuses and I love them just the same.

I quit trying not to eat carbs at night, because I craved them. If you saw someone all strung out on a street corner, toasting a bagel with a lighter… that was me.

I did cut out alcohol for the full two weeks and served sparkling water with dinner instead of wine. I learned that wine is really expensive and I’m saving a lot of money. This money is then redirected to my grocery bill, because eating healthy is expensive. Have you ever seen how much an avocado costs? I’ve actually started the process to grow them. (I know I’ll get tired of it and throw them out…but I started.)

Aside from the brownie, there was no junk food, AND on average, I did increase my water intake and decrease my coffee intake. Just not on a daily basis like I planned. All in all, the two week challenge was somewhat successful. I’ll continue to do them just for my own enjoyment…and yours. The whole month of March will be spent finding creative ways to save money. Follow me on twitter to see how that goes using #momoneymarch and #livelikeaperson.

The Hot Yoga Experience

I’ve determined that the only way to really start living healthy is to step out of my regular routine and start doing new things (Mostly because the old things aren’t working at all). In the interest of trying new things, I agreed to attend a beginner hot yoga class. A few minutes before the class, I was told it is not actually for beginners, it was just a regular class. There were definitely some misconceptions I had, and some information I should have had prior to attending that I thought I would share.

Leave Your Sneakers at Home – I showed up with my gym sneakers and my socks only to see everyone in their bare feet. Make sure you clip your toenails before, because if you think they are embarrassingly long, you will be the only person attempting this in socks.

Use a Towel – You will sweat. Your mat will turn into a slip and slide, and others will be completely warranted in snickering as you slide all over the place.

Anyone Can Go – Despite the name, people of any level of attractiveness can attend. There are women of all shapes, sizes and abilities in these classes. This diversity does not transfer to men. They will all look like they stepped out of a Nike commercial (without their sneakers).

Do a Little Research – Learn some basic positions online before your first class. If you’re right-left dyslexic like I am, you take a little extra time to think about which leg you’re supposed to be lifting and you miss a couple steps. Then you just end up sitting on your mat trying to figure out how the person beside you has folded into an origami swan.

Test Your Gear – There’s a lot of bending, folding and raising your arms above your head. Be courteous to the people behind you and choose clothing that hides your ass crack, even in the bend-overiest of positions. Also, choose a top that will come back down over your beer gut when you bring your hands back from over your head.

Remember that your first experience, while slightly humiliating, is the MOST humiliated you can be as you get better each time. To be fair the people at Moksha were very conscious of the fact that I would feel like an absolute tool, and were very supportive. An excellent place to go for your first time, especially considering they didn't charge me for anything for my first session.